Do I have Autism? This is a question I have pondered and asked myself over the past two and half years.
Even since little Mr.’s diagnosis
Ever since little Mr. was diagnosed and we started to learn and understand more about Autism. The problem with knowledge, well medical type knowledge, you can take it and view yourself and others close to you, trying to see if there is any traits.
I’m not sure if I’m the only one that does this, or if all parents that have children with special needs go through this, but I look back at my time as a child and start to see traits. I was always happier on my own or around computers, always a little different to all the other kids around me.
However, could I be on the spectrum or and I just picking out traits and making more of it.
Everyone had a trait or two
The way I see it, everyone could pick up a trait or two from those associated with autism. For each of us it may well be a different traits, but I am sure there is at least one. We could spend time and blow them out of proportion – or it could be that you, me or someone else could be on the spectrum.
As I have been introduced into this life of a parent of a SEN child, I have found some adults that have gone through the diagnosis quite late in life. I know of one person who was in his 50’s and I know of another going through the process who is well into his 40’s (around my age).
Now, this is valid if you feel you need to know. I’ve heard its quite a battle to get that sort of diagnosis this late in life. Each person must decide if they want to find out or not Only you can decide if you feel you need to go for a diagnosis or would be happy to receive one.
Me, personally, well I don’t see the point for myself.
What do I mean but ‘don’t see the point’?
The way I see life is like that. For a child, teenager, early 20 something, well, they have quite some life left in front of them. They are still learning their way – and helping them with their autism and the world will give them a better future. Especially when you looking at a child such as little Mr. who is just at the beginning of his school adventure.
For me, at 47, well I’m set in my ways. I’ve gone through life, learned a whole bunch of stuff and I do things and interact with people in a way I have learnt. Interacting face to face is a struggle though – if I could have learned a better way to do that when I was younger, then that would have been great.
If I did feel I was on the spectrum, fighting that battle to get to see a doctor, to get any diagnosis, well its just not going to give me anything that I feel I could benefit from.
Now, thats not saying that everyone would not benefit from this. Many people may feel completely different, they may feel they need a diagnosis to make sense of their life. I can understand that, I can get behind someone that needs this.
For me though, its different. I don’t feel I need any diagnosis. I still look at my life, look at my life as a childhood and spot traits. I do somethings think ‘Could little Mr. have this diagnosis because of me? However, I would not have changed a thing, both not so little Miss and little Mr keep us on our toes – and thats just the way we like it.
I recently came across the following quote
“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.”
― Maya Angelou
This is my new goal in life. Not to conform to be normal, but to be amazing and I hope to inspire you to be amazing too.